CLASSY over TRASHY?

Mendez Definitions;

Classy Female : A genuine feminine women who holds herself in high regard, is respectable, elegant and stylish and is able to maintain these attributes in social circles

Trashy Female: Subversion of 'Classy Female'

Pretty : A generic pretty female that would gain a general social consensus as being 'good looking'

Last night, i read a tweet 'Does a hoe know shes a hoe?' And it got me thinking. Some actually dont. They dont realise what theyre doing. From personal experiences with my peers and females generally. It's not a mystery that females hold a lot of insecurities / confidence issues etc. I wanted to address a few scenarios I have come across.

Many a female think theyre not 'pretty' and I have seen many a female use their other attributes to 'make up for this'. For example, wearing tight / low cut clothing. Acting more provocatively and plain simple looking trashy, to give themselves a confidence boost, compensate for not being 'pretty', or simply for attention. This saddens me because not only are they selling themself short but i'm sure ( if its male attention they're looking for ) a male would prefer a girl that is not generically pretty but classy and carries herself well over a pretty/'ugly' female selling herself short and dressing like a hot mess.

It then irritates me when these girls wonder why they dont get any 'decent men.' Well if u dont look / act decent . . . What you put out is what you get..

I've come to the conclusion that females are comparing ourselves to each other and celebrities all too often and are not holding ourself to the high esteem that we should as a real woman.

Put yourself in a males position; If your at a rave at a females wearing next to nothing, caked in make-up and dancing with their face down, ass up. Sure, she may get more attention than the female in the classic LBD (Little black dress), less make-up and not so 'out there'- But is she getting the right attention? 10 years later when you're contemplating marriage, life long partners etc. Who would they rather the out there female that everyone tried to get a piece of, or the understated beauty that carried herself well.

Let me put it another way, Alicia Keys or Lil Kim? Both get attention from males. One sings about sex sex and .. sex... the other about a womans worth, love and sisterhood... One dresses with clothing. One doesnt. Who would you rather be?

Heres some Mendez tips

1) Start believing

- You cannot act classy and act and behave like you are woman you are if you do not believe it yourself. Get your mindset right. You're worth more than a one night stand. Your body's a temple. Everyone doesnt need to see every bit of it, or try every piece of it.

2) Develop Self worth rituals

- For example, each time you wake up, when you first look in the mirror. Say something positive about yourself 1 physically and 1 mentally. - " I have lovely big brown eyes. I'm also a good listener " - write these down to refer back to for those days when you're feeling down.

3) Be Original

-The minute you start acting like someone you are not thats often where things go wrong, if that means sorting out insecurity issues first and knowing what you are and what your worth so be it

4) Be beautiful

-Not sexy, pretty, hot... Beautiful. As a person. Inside and out.

5) Impress yourself

-Love yourself, stop looking for acceptance from men or other females you are priority.

Final thought; Your self worth is not defined by how many guys grab your bum in a rave. I'm 99% sure if females learn to love and respect themselves more there'd be no such thing a trashy girls or hoes..

6) Now go listen to ; Video - by India Arie :) x